Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts

Thursday, 18 August 2016

There's a voice there and a home, you just didn't know it


I love to photograph. The way you can hide behind a lens and what you see within it is the world you captured seconds previous in your mind's eye. When I write, sometimes the words don't come. When I sing, I miss a note or two or falter on a lyric. Cooking has riveting heights of taste sensations that can so easily be followed by a billowing fluffy cake that last minute, decides it has given up on life and sinks inside of itself. And painting. Let's not forget painting. The image I have in my head doesn't seem to want to be placed on canvas. But photography. That's a different story. Each snap sucks up the colors and the energy of a sunset or the smells of turmeric muffins out of the oven. The shutter takes hold of breaking waves and spontaneous smiles. And yet that beautiful camera also leaves behind all that colorful, energetic emotion and sights for someone else to take hold of and save as an image in their camera, just as equally, just as fairly.



A few years ago, I parked my car by the lake, alongside everyone else's car on a sunny summer's day in July, to go for a swim and a maybe sail. I left my belongings, bar my wetsuit and towel, in a bag under a jacket in the boot of my car. Not on the back seat or on the driver's seat with the door open and a neon arrow pointing to the bag. Hidden. Obscured. Safely tucked away to be used later. A few hours later, I came back and the bag was gone. So was the smooth line along the door frame of my little car, as well as my CDs, including the Tenacious D one I roared along with on solo road trips to Clare. I remember laughing and joking with my Dad on the way back to the car and then mid conversation, realising something was wrong. When I saw that the car had been bashed and my bag was taken, I wasn't upset, rather confused. Why would someone do that? Did they not realise I was skint and had nothing of real value? Did they not know that there was less than twenty quid in my wallet, alongside a bunch of grocery receipts and some water bottles? Then it dawned on me. My journal. Gone. Stories and ideas and dreams built up over the summer. Gone. My camera. Gone. Sunsets and waves and wildflowers and more. Why?

It's funny that I hadn't thought about that theft or how it affected me until now. Suddenly, I could remember feeling stupid, blaming myself for the theft and damage to my little car. How could I have been so idiotic?! I remember my Dad and the rest of our family friends in the car park being astounded and rushing to offer their help and everybody being more upset than I was. Until a few days later. I imagined the morons who had stolen my belongings and reading through my journal and laughing at my dreams. I felt exposed and minor and immature. Mostly, I felt lost without my camera. It took me months of camera-less despair before I could afford another one. I was utterly lost. When I saved up for another, I carried it with me everywhere. Street lights, food markets, street murals and coffee cups. Light playing on windows and door frames, old ladies peering out over balconies and book spines. I couldn't get enough of it. Then the blog happened and every manner of food and adventure dripped from real life into my camera and onto my computer screen and I felt like I could share my world in the way it makes sense to me; visually.



Two weeks ago, that camera was stolen. Along with another journal, a beautiful bag my sister had gifted me, five euro and my housemate's fishing rods. The journal was one of those beautiful Taschen ones, bound in Gustav Klimt's artwork and given to me by my lovely friend Krisi. The bag had red handles the color of sun ripened summer tomatoes and hand printed retro patterns, because she's thoughtful and creative like that. Five euro and shopping receipts and lists from way back. Fishing rods. And my camera. There are photos of the whole summer in Clare on there. Of the time my nieces came to visit me here in my new home, swimming and adventuring on the farm and eating crepes twice the size of their faces. There are recipe ideas I was saving for September when work calmed down and I could share them with you here. And there are photos that were never taken of places in Clare I haven't been to yet and experiences I haven't had and images and visions I haven't yet had the wondrous privilege to formulate yet. Oddly, when I realized all these things were taken I didn't really care either. I was in a state of shock and overwhelming gratitude.



Two weeks ago, that camera was stolen and for a time, my unwavering beliefs in feeling safe and trusting that 'bad' people weren't part of my life, were taken too. You see, two men came into my house two weeks ago and they took things that did not belong to them. At 3.30 in the morning. While I was asleep on my own in the house. Even now, that's strange to stay.

I thought it was my housemate. He would occasionally come home unannounced for an hour or so to get something he needed before going back to work. He works away for weeks at a time so I'm used to having the place more or less to myself. I never feel weary or alone. It's a privilege to have it to myself. That night, I was so confused when I heard the squeak of the front door handle and footsteps move in the kitchen downstairs. I didn't know whether to jump out and give out to him or just turn and go back to sleep. I tucked myself into the duvet more and tried to rest. The footsteps kept lingering and shuffling. I grew quieter as I listened. My gut was telling me something was very wrong but I chose to ignore it. The reality of listening to that kind of reaction meant that I would have to admit the person shuffling downstairs was not my housemate.


The footsteps grew louder coming up the stairs. Then the flashlight scanned past my bedroom door and I noticed I wasn't breathing anymore. Two sets of footsteps walked past my door and on into his room. Even when it was obvious now that there were two strangers sneaking around my house, I assumed I was wrong and rang my housemate. No answer. Looking back on it now, I'm not sure I was thinking. Captain Hindsight says I could have climbed out the window, locked my door, called the police but the windowsill was covered in books and teacups, I didn't know if I had a key in the lock of my door and the phone reception was faulty. If I ran, they'd hear me or see me and I might not get out the house. So I did what would never occur to me in real life. I walked out onto the landing between his room and mine and called out my housemate's name. When two men dressed in black stopped whispering and walked out to see me, a voice I didn't know flew up from my belly and I roared with a fire I didn't know I had, "Get the f**k out of my house". I was terrified. They laughed at me and I nearly collapsed. Somehow, I didn't. I roared again, this time feeling my two feet firmly on the ground and my wild hair tossing around the air. I felt possessed as I roared at them and chased them down the stairs and out of my home. As soon as they left and I had bolted every door and turned on every light, I inhaled again and sobbed, putting on shoes and a coat and dialing my neighbors.



Every part of me collapsed when the first of my neighbors arrived, followed by the next and the next and the next. They were just as frightened as I was but I was held and given tea and wrapped up. Police and banks were called. One friend even drove over at 4am as backup. That's what hit me and also what stayed with me for days after the burglary. The love. I was terrified, couldn't sleep, every tiny sound and movement petrified me to my core but there was love and community and concern everywhere. I know that had my house in Dublin been burgled, friends and co workers would have been amazing but neighbors and shop owners, friends of friends and the veggie man? Never. They wouldn't have even known my name. Being a small town, the incident spread like wildfire but instead of feeling embarrassed or harassed, I felt part of the community, a cared for and loved and respected friend.

I won't lie. I still check the locks, sometimes waking in the middle of the night to lollop down the stairs to visually show myself that the deadbolt is on, the chain latched in tight. I pull the blinds down on the windows downstairs and don't leave anything lying around on the kitchen table anymore. I always need to know where my keys are and my gut bolts when there's a knock on the door or worse yet, the window. I'm devastated about my camera but not about the plastic object, rather the memories and colors and smiles and foods contained inside its little plastic chip. I miss the potential images I'll miss until I can save to get another one and the freedom of expression and creativity it gave me when writing proved difficult or my perfectionism was trying to get the better of me in other areas of my life.



I feel sorry for the imbeciles who stole my beautiful bag. They'll never know the care my sister took to choose it for me or how it got its little hole on the bottom corner. They never had a friend who remembered my love for one specific Klimt painting after ten years of friendship. I feel thankful for the love and the care and the fact that nobody got hurt. I'll get another camera and there will be other memories to capture and savor but I'll never get to experience that amount of genuine concern from people who a few months ago were strangers to me in this new town. What a gift!

If I summarize the events, it all does sound horrific but I often think it was the beginning of a major shift and a new change. A new place to live came up, you see. It's nearby all these beautiful people and places, work and farm and the surf but it's also in the country. The sun shines along the land all day. It wriggles the dew up from under a forest and lifts the haze of it into the sky each morning, waking birds into song for the day. In the mid day, the warm rays shine on tunnels of veg and when the warm orb is finished its orbit of the farm, it sinks behind more trees, only for the skyline to be replaced by the moon's orbit and it drifts up over the trees and nestles high above the house.



There's a room for me there now and a new stage. This stage doesn't involve me running away from discomfort and dis-ease like I've done so often in my life. I'm not so scared of failing and depression and confusion and relationships and trying that I want to run away somewhere warm and unfamiliar. This time, I'm looking forward to settling in even more, getting my hands in the dirt more regularly, feeling the comfort of wild winters and warm shelters. Even more than anything, I'm looking forward to standing my ground, tall and proud, wavy wild hair abound. I'm not hiding in my room anymore, looking for a key to lock discomfort out. I'm here to stay, to stand in my community on the land and in the sea and even though it will take some time to sleep restfully, I am safe, I am loved, I am part of a community, I am lucky, I am free.

Monday, 28 March 2016

Hunger & Homesickness: Coming home


I've been hungry for a long time. Not for food but for change. Change in my living situation, my job, my relationship status, my whole life really. I've gone through stages of wishing it all away and thinking that if only I lived somewhere else, had a different upbringing, had more money, less money, lived closer to the surf, lived somewhere warm, lived anywhere but where I was, that I would be happy. Everything would suddenly be ok. It's strange now to think I thought that. I believe that deep down, I knew I was kidding myself. It's something we're all meant to go through I think. Questioning and utter confusion. I wish I had taken the time to listen to myself and my own voice and gut long ago rather than feeding into what I thought others thought of me, my life and every little conceivable decision I made about my life. I wish I had accepted my lovely flawed self sooner but then I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't be in this place of love for myself and my circumstances, my dreams, my values and most importantly, my imperfections. I wouldn't be so appreciative of the complexity of me and the path that led me here.


Funny thing about wanting your life to change all the time. You can travel to farthest ends of the earth, have relationships with different people and work at a variety of different jobs but until you stop to address you at your very core, you're just dragging around all that angst and regret and confusion half way around the world with you. That's what I did. For the best part of ten years. Please don't think that this post is all about how I've suddenly found myself, right in the nick of time, aged thirty. Far from it. I'm still single, I'm still stony broke and I'm still learning about myself but one thing that this last year of mayhem, upset and mental strain has taught me is that I am beautifully imperfect and I am fully willing to stand right in the present and face myself and my past. Each and every step that was pure heartache in the last ten years from being in debt to unemployed and critically heartbroken led me to where I am today. Sure, it would have been easier if the path was filled with more love and easiness but then I wouldn't have appreciated what I have now.


That is the lesson this past year and in particular, these past three months have taught me because the thing is, I followed the adventurous dream I thought I wanted so desperately all the way to an English teaching job in Vietnam and I hated every single minute of it. All the years of living in Ireland and lamenting the weather, wishing for more blue sky days, heat, cheap and delicious food, palm trees and cheap flights to Australia and New Zealand, were all in vain. I felt so privileged in my freedom, standard of living, education and life conditions compared to the vendors, families and mix of elderly and young living in Ha Noi. I spent those three weeks jaw dropped, looking at the neon green pollution in the central lake of the city, struggling to inhale through the humid smog, imagining what it might be like to sleep in silence in a house down a country lane rather than in the chaos of the city night. I got sad looking at dogs tied up, ill elderly stashed in tiny houses and families leaving their front door open to the polluted and traffic infused streets just to get some 'fresh' air into their tiny apartments. It upset me to see KFC beside a tiny street stall selling bread rolls filled with egg and chicken and realizing how those buying the local sandwiches could never dream of eating at KFC. There was nothing equal about any of this. Society was divided between the top 5% emulating the wealthy west and casting off anything that associated them or their lives with that of the other 95% who would never get a chance to change, grow or ask what they personally valued.


I realized I am so lucky. I am free to travel, to photograph, to be educated, to do whatever I like. Yes, I have suffered in the last ten years from people who didn't value me, didn't love me, didn't show me the love and respect I deserved. Still, I have it so much better than those in Vietnam. For the first time in my life, after years of solo trips away, I was homesick in Vietnam. Not just for family but amazing friends, clean air, green landscapes, wild waves, fresh rain, mucky dogs running through fields with enthusiastic abandon, welly boots, clean rivers and simple living. I vowed that if I made it back to Ireland, I would treasure my life and change things to feed the hunger I had for community, simple living and a life filled with love that was in alignment with my values because I could. Because I was privileged.



The day after my birthday, I went west, just outside Lahinch. I took a small bag packed with a few clothes that I was happy to get mucky from digging in a wet field on a farm in Moy. I decided on my birthday that I wouldn't waste time saying "I'll do that tomorrow". If things like living in a community, growing food, helping those working towards something valuable, being out in the open air were important to me, I wasn't going to waste any time talking about it. I have the privilege of being able to assume that I will live for another thirty years when so many others do not. That being the case, I plan to make the most of those thirty years. I am not going to live it wishing for a different life, different circumstances, living out my days hoping to appease others or take a job or a partner to seek approval. I write this as I start to pack up a few belongings like cookbooks to share dinners for groups of hungry workers for the farm, my surfboard for ocean respite, some jewelry supplies to make gifts for others and potting trays to donate to the local community garden. After fifteen years of moving around the world, I'm coming back to where it all began for me, the first place in Ireland I felt I belonged.


I've learnt so much from this hunger and homesickness it's the beauty of following my heart, believing in my strength, trusting my gut, surrounding myself with people I care about who love me and accept me just as I am. I've stopped being afraid to ask myself what's wrong when I get depressed, to inquire about my values and change my lifestyle and outlook accordingly. I've lost the fear of what the core of me longs for. We can travel, have relationships, live in a multitude of locations, drift in and out of friendships and family ties but we will always be homesick for ourselves, the home within, unless we take a look at why we feel so hungry for meaning and to feed that need with love, freedom and compassion. Because we can.


Coming home is also coming back to this online space to share stories and recipes. I haven't forgotten about the food. Porridge with cinnamon, mashed potato and brown bread never tasted so good since coming back to Ireland. I also didn't have a kitchen in Vietnam and am between places right now. Having said that, I'm excited about Spring, sorrel salads, the last of beetroot goodness, baking and making 2016 the year I give to markets, fermenting, wild harvesting and food bartering goodness!



Here's to fresh air and water Spring light-filled days, wild food abundance, pot luck dinners, hedgerow harvests and the beauty of wilderness and unpredictability in nature and in life! Here's to living life with this beautiful song by Ger Wolfe in mind: The Curra Road....

In the Summer we'll go walking, way down to the river, down the Curra road.
There's the blue sky we'll walk under, listen to the humming bees and on we'll go.
We won't worry about the Winter, worry 'bout it raining ,worry 'bout the snow. 
In the Summer we'll go walking, way down to the river, down the Curra road.
Past the cattle at their grazing, through the woods of hazel, holly, birch and oak. 
Past the robin on the gatepost, singing to the bluebells, sunlight is their host. We won't worry 'bout the radio, worry 'bout the traffic, worry 'bout the phone. In the Summer we'll go walking way down to the river, down the dusty road.
There is music in the river, listen to it dancing, underneath the bridge, and the wind is hardly breathing, words unto the willow branches overhead .We won't worry 'bout the government, worry 'bout the video, worry 'bout the day. In the Summer we'll go waltzing, hand in hand together, down the dusty way.

Busylittlefoodie X