Love is all you need: Ruby Red Juice

I used to think that love is all you need. Love was enough, would fix anything, transform, nurture, save and secure. Love conquered, rescued, nursed, took care, listened, asked and held. Love could envelop, wrapping you in cotton wool while setting you free at the same time. What a magical world love lived in.

As a kid, I thought these things because it's what princes did in cartoons and Fred Astaire did for Ginger Rogers. I'd watch the longing and the bliss play out on screen as she carried out all the tap shift moves he did, only backwards. As a teenager, I read books about protagonists searching for something in themselves, in their lives, overcoming battles in their world and in their minds and understood that it was love for their beliefs, for another, for their country or for themselves that drove them beyond fear and into courage. I listened to music that stirred feelings in my soul of the joy and pain that love caused in and out of daily routines, how it led to Bon Iver hiding away in a forest for a year only to burst out of the woods reborn with a new voice, pain and joy hand in hand. I listened to JJ Cale and BB King and Nina Simone, Fleetwood Mac and The Frames. They all taught me the shifting waves and tides that were inherent in the concept of love.

I understood, even then, that love wasn't as simple as two red curves dipping to a sharp, singular and well directed point at its end. It wasn't soft, precise perfection. Love had folds, curves, hidden angles and unexpected lulls. And love hurt. I knew that it hurt the most when it was unrequited. I clearly remember studying a Shakespearean sonnet at school, aged fourteen and learning the word, though I already knew what it meant. Unreturned, unloved, uncared for. It's what all those blues songs I listened to were ever about. It's all I ever worried about.

My definition of love was always manifold but my definition always pertained to my perspective. You see, my definition was everything I was willing to give a person I loved. I give everything of myself to those I love because I don't know any other way. It comes naturally to me to be that loving and caring. I feel empty when I don't. The problem is when I give so much to others to the point where they start to think my reserves are everlasting, that the love I have to give to friends, family and a partner are limitless, the reserve magically ongoing. So it came as a surprise to many when I would simply shudder, stall and stop, like a tired old van. Stop interacting, feeling, giving, loving. I'd gather my resources quickly so I could continue to support, care, listen and help so that they would all feel incredibly loved again.

I repeated this pattern because I was proud to be all about the love. So why was the one thing that I did naturally, with enthusiasm, pride and great energy, slowly but surely bringing me down? I've floated the idea around in my murky mind a lot in the last few years and always swam up to the surface, out of breath and without any answers. Until last week.

Writing my post last week, admitting to myself and everyone I love the true details of my depression and anxiety gave me the answers I was looking for to the great blue debate going on in my head. For so long, everything was about fear. Fear of unrequited love, misunderstanding, lost friendships, isolation and loneliness. By clicking the publish button, I challenged my biggest fear of all; telling people I loved the true extent of my problem. This act transformed and elevated the level of love I have in my life. Friends, family, workmates and travel buddies got in touch from near and far, publicly and privately to tell me how much they loved me. I received one message, call and text after another and two words shone through each and every message: brave and love.

And then I realised. I understood what had been bringing me down. I had been ignoring two basic needs: to admit to my friends how much their voicing of their love to me was important and how much I had neglected to love and appreciate myself. I would listen to the black king on his throne residing in my mind; the voice of unreasonable and cruel reasoning who told me no matter how much love I sent out, it would be unrequited. No matter how much I created, it wouldn't be good enough. No matter how much I cared, it wouldn't make a difference and no matter how much I tried to truly believe that I was worthy, loved, appreciated, cared for and unique, I was not good enough.

There is no way that I would ever speak to another person I love the way I allow that voice to speak to me. I would defend a loved one with my life if another spoke to them in that way, with those words and those sentiments. So why would I not encourage such praise and love and respect to be directed at me? Why would I not put the same thought, energy and care into myself and the unique person I am? Why wouldn't I just be myself?

The beautiful words of love I received from all over kick-started something unexpected. I'd like to get to know myself again, to learn what animates me, makes me smile, sing and create. I'd like to become friends with myself. Love is not just about prince charming or your passions. Each love quote is not about the other man or woman in your life. It starts with you. I don't think it's about finding a man I can lose myself in when I look into his eyes for a sense of recognition, understanding and acceptance. It's about looking at myself in the mirror and recognizing and embracing the person looking back at me. The black and the white. The dark and the light.

Today's recipe is about embracing that love. Beetroot looks like a forbidding, hard and unwelcoming vegetable but when eaten fresh, it has the most beautiful and earthly sweet and fragrant taste. The juice always looks so vibrant and energizing. It's like the perfect mix of masculine sturdiness and feminine vibrancy. Before the frost arrived, I dug up the last of my beetroot from the garden. Dark, rustic, ruby red, covered in wholesome clay, all the growth and energy that they had absorbed from the damp clay and the sunshine of the summer was captured in each round. I made this juice to capture the last of the autumn and to remember that energy comes from the sun and the air but also from below the surface, in the darkness and when mixed, the combination is vibrant and electric. Something to remember.

Ingredients:
Serves 2
1 fresh beetroot
2 apples
1 large chunk fresh ginger
1 pear
1 lemon

Method:
Wash all the fruit, peel the beetroot and chop them into manageable sizes for your juicer. Juice, add ice, serve and relax.


To everyone that sent their love my way, thank you x

Summer nostalgia: Cucumber zinger juice

Apparently, this is what summer looks like. I could handle last weekend's weather while being sick but this is not what I had in mind for the weekend. I do my best to be honest in my blog posts. I don't pretend to be an upbeat, effervescent, yoga guru nutritionist that never has a bad day and is ready and willing to change your diet and transform your life. This blog is about real food, real opinions and real feelings. I like it that way.

As a result, I write about how I'm really feeling and what is going on in my life as well as writing and photographing a recipe I am proud of and think will make others happy, healthy and full. Part of being real is stating when life sucks. As an English teacher, there are a variety of adjectives I could use to replace 'sucks' but sometimes it's the best use of an adjective to describe times in life that are falling flat on their face.

The last few days, emotions have been running high and the weather's grey skies and freak showers have only served to exacerbate that reality. Today did not cooperate. Today didn't even begin. Summer is drawing to a close and the reality of that realization is unsettling. I don't handle dark evenings, heavy rain and gloom well. Today's weather was a warning about the looming autumn and winter. As part of a strategy I've been working on for the last year, no matter what the upsetting or worrying situation is, I recognize it and then focus on a positive outlook about the situation at the end. How do you create a positive spin on weather that is only going to get colder, wetter and more miserable? It can't be a good idea to hold onto past summer day memories; clinging onto the feeling of sun on shoulders, reflective patterns on water, warm nights cycling home in a dress, the refreshing sensation of diving into the salty sea to cool down from the day's heat.

Reminiscing is a temporary solution to a long-term problem. I was stuck until I resurrected a mantra I had used for months: "be where you are". This meant creatively changing the gloomy day into something that was of value to me. If I missed the sunshine, the stark bright colors of plants and murals and water, highlighted by the sun's rays, I would have to create my own color amidst the gloom.

That's where this juice came from. As bright and refreshing and energetic as the lush greens of summer growth, this juice saved my day. The cucumber's refreshing juice mingled with mint reminded me of summer time beer garden cocktails. The ginger warmed my belly and my soul and the energized, illuminated green color of the juice itself brightened up my day. It was a simple idea but one which helped me find the brightness in the day. From now on, juicing is going to be an integral part of my diet and my everyday joy. I found the silver lining and realized that there will be days like this one.

So when you are feeling overwhelmed, upset, dragged down, tired, lazy or uninspired, feel those feelings in your gut, acknowledge those uncomfortable feelings by sitting with them. Then go do something to change the circumstances. Kick start a new phase. It's worth it every time.

Ingredients:
1 cucumber
1 lemon
1 large chunk of ginger
1 handful of mint
Ice to serve

Method:
Wash all fruit/vegetables. Using your juicer, put in mint, ginger and lemon first, then follow with the cucumber. Stir well with a few cubes of ice and enjoy. (Don't forget to compost all that great juice pulp!)

This post was inspired by the super moon that is calling us all to attention tonight. The moon drags me around like a rag doll sometimes but in the end, always has wisdom to share. If you are interested in the meanings of the moon and how it can affect our emotions and life, have a look here. 

Breakups & Beetroot: Beetroot and ginger juice and fresh starts

Breaking up is hard to do. There are no two ways around it. Avoidance feeds the ugly void within. Keeping busy merely to avoid thoughts, emotions and memories is a waste of time. The simplest of triggers come crawling back in to the psyche and settle there for a period of time of its own choosing. There is no great sense of control or time or calm after a break up. It is what it is. An unholy mess.

I've never been good at them, even though I've had limited practice, meaning two previous breakups in total. The first was a best friend from teenage years, though looking back, can two horny teenagers ever really be best friends and not be thinking about getting together in their minds? When we broke up I was crushed and put energy into being angry for quite a while. It was only when I was setting off to New Zealand for the first time that I realized life was too short to hold a grudge and so went all-out Irish and sat down and had a cup of tea with him. That started the resolution. When I came back from NZ, I realized a more concentrated effort was necessary. In the space of a few hours we were laughing our asses off at our naive teenage selves and admitting that neither of us had a clue what we were doing when we were younger, much less now. I heard the words I needed to hear from him. The first was "I may have been 18 but I didn't have a clue how to be a man, never mind a decent boyfriend". The second was "even though you were younger (by two years) you knew more than me about relationships". The third but by no means less important, was "I'm sorry". He meant it and we've been honest, trusting, joking, caring friends since. The second relationship was just plain awful, something that should never have begun in the first place.

This breakup will have been my third. August bank holiday last year. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago and a parallel existence mixed together in some dishwater mess that struggles to go down the sinkhole drain. I've been happily busy, genuinely, for the last few months. The struggles that I've gone through have tapered off and I'm enjoying life with a renewed sense of vigor I can't remember having before I was ten years old. I've fallen back in love with my passions, built a sense of community around me and focused on the now rather than worrying about the past and being anxious around the future. I'm far happier in myself these days. All positive, tick-the-box moments.

Then there's this weekend coming up and the inherent realization that a full year has gone by. It's over. It's been over and that time is gone, he's gone. That's tough. It doesn't seem real. It's something I never wanted. Living in Dublin for the last year has meant flashbacks from various points around the city, places I skillfully avoided by cycling detours around them to avoid seeing them so as not to get upset. Trinity Gates and the Spire were the meeting points before a date. The Bernard Shaw was our Friday pizza meet up at the end of my working week and the beginning of his. The canal is where we finally got to relax with a few beers after work, the swan gym the place where I'd meet him before or after a swim in the pool. Boojum Burritos was the holy grail of takeout. He would even bring some back to Sligo when he came back from working in Dublin. The Grand Social was where we went to various gigs and the Cobblestone was where we cheered on our friend in her Blues Grass band. The front steps of my work is where he'd meet me some days at 6 pm. O'Neills is where we had that fight out of the blue about travelling. Temple Bar is where I cried and Dame Street is where he got on the bus and I waited for him to turn around and say it was all a mistake and he didn't. It wasn't until a few months later that we both realized we had both looked back to search for the other's forgiving eyes. We just hadn't seen the other looking. We stopped making each other's hearts go boom in that beautiful way love encourages lovers to do.

A full year of changes and memories, good, bad and ugly. A full year of challenges and doubts and new friends and new experiences. A full year from forcing myself to write a blog post about renewing my blog and fresh starts. Even in the chaos of the aftermath of a breakup, I still managed to redesign my entire food blog and mean it. I have spent the last year applying baby steps to changing things in my life for the better and it worked! Life is better. Life is fresher, friendlier, more interesting and much closer to the type of life I wanted because I went with what felt good, what my gut and my heart felt right with. I learnt so much about myself. I learnt to forgive. I learnt just how far my love goes for someone I truly care about and love. I learnt to love myself more too.

What does any of this have to do with food then? Again, small steps. This time last year, I had spent what felt like an eternity neglecting myself; emotionally, mentally and physically. One major booster of energy, enthusiasm and emotional and physical stability for me is good food. It was one of the key reasons I set up the blog and the main reason I wrote that post this time last year to take the food I consumed seriously and realize just how much good food affects me.

The first step I took to looking after myself was increasing my intake of colorful, beautiful, glossy, sunshine glasses full of juice. I had taken to making juices for my Mam, constantly thinking of better, healthier, tastier versions of vibrant juices for her but of course, didn't think about myself. Juicing, when balanced with a healthy diet literally re-energizes and re-invigorates your body like no other food I've come across. By taking the small step of aiming to have one juice a day, I've felt healthy, energized and alive.

Taking care of yourself when you are used to taking care of others or going through an emotional time seems insurmountable. It seems that way but it's not. Taking time out to make a juice and feel better by seeing it's healthy glow and then drinking it down each day makes a massive different to your health and happiness. When bad days, break ups, illnesses and shitty days are weighing down on you, honestly, making a juice is the difference between another shitty next day and a real goodie.

So many people ask me what they can do to 'be healthier'. I generally say, cut out the crap and get more veggies into you. I never thought to say "drink more juices", so I'm saying it now. Incorporate it into your daily life. Here's a great one to start. It looks beautiful and healthy and despite what you might think about the ingredients (really, let's be real and state the obvious, it's the beetroot, isn't it?) it tastes AMAZING.

Ingredients
1 beetroot
1 pear
1 apple
1 carrot/orange/a few mandarins (if using oranges/mandarins, remove the peel first)
1/2 lemon
1 chunk ginger (about the length of your thumb nail)
handful of mint

Except for the oranges and mandarins, the peel/skin/core of all the other ingredients can stay on

Method
Wash all your veggies and fruit. Using your juicer, blend the juice in the following order: (gets the best out of your ingredients and the juicer) Beetroot, lemon + ginger + mint, pear, carrot, apple.
Add a few ice cubes, stir and drink slowly.

Enjoy every last drop and remember, baby steps and be good to your amazing self. It may lead you to have the energy to get up and go, despite the breakup, to places where you can see views like those below in person and not just trawling through facebook feeds :) Views and feelings and passions of different sorts that make your heart go boom in another beautiful way.

Happy Friday. Now get juicing.

Simple squash and the surf countdown

 

Squash is a strange sort of veggie. For a LONG time, I was baffled by their tough waxy skin and its seemingly bland taste. I always thought it was one vegetable of various forms, all tasting of nothing much. This whole outlook changed over the last few years. Now I can think of practically no other vegetable that is as tasty, versatile or magic to look at in a bowl of food or growing in a back garden. Now, it's simply a wonder food. Filling but not starchy. Bursting with a multitude of colours, textures and flavours depending on how you choose to cook it. A pantry staple. Have I gone on about it long enough?

 

Why bother to peel, chop and cook this simplest of squashes and what motivated this busylittlefoodie to do such a thing on a January day? Well, for those who know me best, I am in complete denial of the weather around me. All my clothes are summer clothes, more appropriate to beaches and barbeques than rainy, overcast January days in Ireland. It's fitting then that I'm a mere 5 (!!!!!) days away from leaving for New Zealand, I'm having cravings for smoothies, colourful salads and sunshine colours all around me. These are things that are decidedly missing at the moment. Instead of getting down in the dumps about it, I decided to embrace the Irish weather, winter salad style take 2.

 

This recipe keeps the warmth of hazelnuts that was in my last recipe but also has the added yumminess and warmth of toasted coriander seeds, honey roasted squash, plenty of garlic to keep colds and flus away, rocket for a fiery kick and chickpeas for energy and warmth.

 

This salad is great as it's made in 3 parts. Part 1: Roasted squash-can be done the night before or in a batch every few days. Step 2: Roasting the other veg, chickpeas and nuts-can also be done the night before and stored in fridge to add to greens for your lunch. Step 3: Add roughly chopped greens-takes 2 minutes. It's a great salad that can be chopped and changed and is perfect for people who want a hearty, fresh meal but say there's never time to make a fancy salad.

 

Hope you like it. I'll be posting once more, I hope, before I leave for New Zealand and then expect plenty of photos from Raglan. The surf countdown begins! Thank you for reading as always!

Bliss X

 



 

Ingredients: (Feeds 2)

PART 1: SQUASH

1/2 butternut squash, peeled and chopped into cubes

2 cloves of garlic, crushed

1 tbs honey

1 tbs olive oil/coconut oil

 

Method:

Preheat oven to 190 degrees C. Prepare squash. Stir through the garlic, honey and oil. Place squash on baking tray, covered in tin foil for 20 minutes until squash is almost completely soft.

 

 

PART 2: REST OF SALAD

While the squash is roasting, get cracking on the rest of the salad.

 

1 courgette, cut in half lengthways, then half again and then into chunks

1 tsp coriander seeds

1/2 tsp ground cumin/1tsp cumin seeds

50 grams of hazelnuts (almonds or others work just as well)

200 grams of cooked chickpeas/1 can, washed and drained

200 grams of fresh spinach, washed and chopped roughly

100 grams of fresh rocket, washed and chopped roughly

 

Method:

In a bowl, mix the courgette, coriander, cumin, hazelnuts and chickpeas together, toss well. Once squash has had its 20 minutes in the oven, remove the tin foil and add your chickpea mix. Toss around in the tray and put in oven for 15 minutes to toast everything else. Once the time is up, tip all the tray ingredients, including all that lovely melted coconut oil and honey into a bowl with the spinach and rocket and toss gently. Add a squeeze of half lemon, serve and enjoy all those lovely colours and flavours!

 

 

 

All images and text copyright of Grace Brady @ busylittlefoodie